I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Alive.
So much puke
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
