This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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