We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
