Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
