I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
