I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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