no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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