Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
