We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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