Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
