One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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