I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
