i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
