i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If I die, sorry about rent.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
