Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
