these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
