Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
