Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
