I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
