So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
