I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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