dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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