For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
