So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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