VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
