I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
