Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
