Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
