I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
