Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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