Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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