How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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