I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
