you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
