dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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