I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
