So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
