so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
