Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
