I wanna bring you to show and tell
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
