So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
