I wannas sexs uuuuu
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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