I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My penis needs a shock collar
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
