this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
