Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
