Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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