If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
