I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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