Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
