yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
this will be a night to untag.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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