if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
