No more Irish car bombs ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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