What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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