hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
