Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
