it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
